Behind Black Eyes
by Kashy
Summary: The Black Children look back over their lives - as they die - and the relationships they've shared with each other. Five-Shot. Fifth, Regulus.
1. Bellatrix Lestrenge

**Behind Black Eyes**

_By Kashy_

**Summary: **The Black Children look back over their lives - as they die - and the relationships they've shared with each other. Five-Shot. First, Bellatrix.

* * *

**Bellatrix (Black) Lestrange**

Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black couldn't look back over her life with distaste.

She was proud of the life she built herself and the way she had served her master all these years. The years on Azkaban had been the worst, separated from the men she loved, her only happiness in the prison that locked her and her husband away was hope that one day she would escape. The knowledge that her horrible cousin was in the same prison, sharing her misery for similar reasons.

How she disliked her cousin, she didn't know why he couldn't be more like his brother, but then she had know that he would be a failure to the Black family the moment the sorting hat had put him into Gryffindor. From the moment he chose to befriend the muggle loving Potter boy she had hated him. Bellatrix hadn't talked to him properly since he was sorted into the muggle loving house, she couldn't face the shame of having the eldest Black son in her generation being a traitor. At least she had killed him two years ago, giving her life the satisfaction that she had been looking for. To kill her own traitor cousin that she despised so much, a disgrace to the family, was something she had dreamed of all the while in prison.

Disgraces that she never spoke to again, also include her sister Andromeda. Bellatrix hated her sister for leaving and marrying a muggleborn and then having that half-blood-hair-changing child. She could never understand how you could waste beautiful pureblood on somebody that was so unworthy. They had grow up together and were close - both sorted into Slytherin rightfully – and been best friends, never to be separated. But as the years past Andromeda grew further and further, especially in the years she wasn't there to make sure she stayed away from the unworthy. And then eventually her favourite sister ran away to marry _him_. She couldn't hate her sister for her choices, she was her sister after all – the shared the same flesh and blood, the same heritage – and Bellatrix loved her unconditionally. Looking back she was always jealous of her younger sister for her looks – she was far more beautiful then herself – but still couldn't hate her, or feel anything but love for the girl even if she was a traitor and burnt off the family tapestry. She had wanted to kill Andromeda at one stage for leaving her, for running off with a mudblood. But as much as the murder of her sister appealed to her, Bellatrix just couldn't do it.

Narcissa was another story though, she loved the blonde haired sister as well, especially since she hadn't made any bad choices in life, well not many that would be considered especially wrong. No, Cissy had made some right choices choosing to marry a wealthy pure blood and have a son that could continue both lines. For that Bella was grateful, she had always hated the fact that both her cousins had died with heirs, leaving the Black fortune in the hands of a Potter. Cissy was always the perfect one, and loved her family unconditionally and Bella had always known that would be her down fall. She was a pretty girl - obviously the favourite of the family – the blonde haired, blue eyed beauty that she had hoped would join her on her master's side, instead she stayed out of it silently watching over her son and husband. Bellatrix had been disappointed in that, but somebody in the family had to be the homemaker.

It seemed to Bellatrix that Regulus was the only one that truly shared her passion for the Dark Arts, but when his death came she knew that was a wrong assumption as well. The coward had turned back at the last minute, defied their master and died because of it. It was shameful to think that both her cousins had died at the hand of the Dark Arts, something that she had hoped to share with them. Somehow she knew Regulus was the weakest of the all. Cissy was strong in defending her family, Sirius was strong in the betrayal of his family, Andromeda was strong in the way she left the family and she knew she was strong, perhaps the strongest of the lot. But Regulus, little Reggie, was too much of a follower. He was bound to follow in Sirius' footsteps eventually, just not as courageously like his brother. When she had found out about his death, she was actually quite relieved because of the way he was embarrassing her and her family.

Yes, it was her family. Nobody else's. Maybe when she had married she had become a Lestrange, but the Black's were still her family above the rest. Cissy was a Malfoy, never really a Black at heart and Andromeda was a little traitor. The two males of the family had been courageous but for the wrong reason, more traitors to the family. Bella knew she was really the only on of her generation that was really and truly a Black.

So she joined the numerous death eaters in death, she joined both her cousins and their friends, her niece and her husband, her mother and father, her auntie and uncle and all the others that she had loved or hated, or just passed by, in death and waited for death to claim her sisters so she could reunite with them and maybe tell them how much she really cared about them.

* * *

**Please** Review and tell me what you think. I would highly appreciate it.

Next Chapter: Andromeda.

_((A/N 2: Okay, that was my re-write of Bella. Spelling's been done, though the grammar is still a little off and more has been added here and there._

_Review!))_

_By Kashy_


	2. Andromeda Tonks

**Behind Black Eyes**

_By Kashy_

* * *

**Andromeda (Black) Tonks.**

Andromeda Tonks - who never really thought of herself as a Black - was on her death bed.

She knew her grandson Teddy was sitting besides her, holding her hand and praying that she would move on safely. Andromeda could smiled at the fact that she hadn't died like her husband Ted, sister Bellatrix, daughter Dora and cousins Sirius and Regulus. No, she was dying from old age after living a fairly good and happy life. She knew her life hadn't been that great though, she had had made some 'bad' choice by her family that essentially turned them against her and left her alone. Andromeda didn't mind after she ran away because she had Ted, but as she grew older she began to miss her sisters and the company that they had been.

Her first mistake to them had been the marrying of Ted Tonks, who had been a muggleborn and then birth of her beautiful and talented daughter Nymphadora had just sweetened the hate that filled her family. She knew that her elder sister Bellatrix hated her for leaving the family after she had finished school and marrying somebody considered to be 'unworthy'. But it had been her decision and she couldn't and wouldn't regret.

She knew Bellatrix hated her, even loathed her with all her strength and passion but she had always looked up to her elder sister. Andromeda just wished that they weren't so different, that they didn't have completely different moral values. But the feeling of hate had become mutual at some point in her life. She only really hated Bellatrix because she had because she had torn her own family apart and left her poor grandson without any parents. Bellatrix had spent years in Azkaban, Andromeda recalled and she had enjoyed those years where she could be seen without somebody reporting horrid things back to her sister. Andromeda hadn't really thought about Bella while she was in Azkaban, she had mostly concentrated on her own family and not the one that she had left behind. She assumed that her sister never thought about her as well and that thought was slightly comforting. And then she didn't have to feel the pain – and joy – that followed her whenever she thought about her older sister that she was so close to when they were younger.

She didn't know why her family couldn't be like her favourite cousin Sirius. She remembered sticking up for him after he was sorted rightfully into Gryffindor and after Cissy took the first opportunity to write a letter to their mother and father explaining the horrible situation. She remembered watching the stars with him and being his only friend, his only family member after everybody had pushed him away just because he was different. She didn't think he was a disgrace, she thought of him as the person that broke the Black family tradition and proved that not all Black's had to be filled with Pure Blood madness. She had looked up to him even though he was so much younger then she was. Andromeda remember wanting to take her young cousin with her as she walked away from her family. She couldn't believe it when Sirius was put into Azkaban, but she believed it anyway, something that she later regretted. Yet another reason to hate Bellatrix, she thought bitterly, was because of the way her cousin died. It was Bella's fault that her lovely Sirius was dead.

Bitterness seemed to run in the Black family, especially when directed at her. Narcissa – Cissy – had become a Malfoy. Andromeda had always seen her younger sister as the peace keeper for some reason. It wasn't like Cissy was a peaceful child – or even woman – Andromeda was far more peaceful then her little sister but Cissy had always been the neutral one. She did what she was told, but held her beliefs close to her heart and Andromeda knew that those beliefs weren't necessarily bad. Cissy had contacted her a few times, to tell her about her marriage to Malfoy, about her son Draco and had even kept her up to date with news on Bella. She didn't really want to hear the news from the world she used to live in, but she kept the letters close to her heart because Narcissa was her sister after all. Cissy was different to the herself and Bella, different to Regulus and Sirius. She didn't fall in love with darkness, she didn't fall in love with the wrong man, and she didn't become a traitor. She fell in love with a man with money, power and status and did all the right things to protect her family. Andromeda saw a little bit of herself in her younger sister, the caring side, the compassionate side that graced so little of the Black family.

Regulus seemed to be a different matter to her. She didn't know how he died and she didn't mourn his death because she didn't know he was truly dead until she was dead herself. She had never been close to the youngest Black for some reason. Maybe it was because they never really clicked or maybe it was because they were cousins and he was too much like Bellatrix for her liking. Andromeda never believed that Regulus was a bad person, he just wanted to do what made his family happy even if that meant supporting the Dark Arts and living his life on the edge under some bodies command then, that's what he'd do.

She was reunited once again with her husband, her daughter and her husband and the people that had died at the hands of her sister and her Death Eater friends. In death she met with her parents, her cousins and last of all her sisters whom she would spend the rest of eternity with.

* * *

__

Hope you like Andromeda. I think that chapters are going to get longer.

Please **Review**. It would be very much appreciated.

_((A/N 2: Andromeda re-edited. I'm quite impressed with myself here. Both Bella and Andy are now over 1000 words, something I wasn't supposed to achieve._

_Well Review!))_


	3. Narcissa Malfoy

**Behind Black Eyes**

_By Kashy_

**

* * *

**

**Narcissa (Black) Malfoy.**

Bitterness was not something that came easily to Narcissa.

She had tried to hate the people that didn't fight on her side during the wars, but the only thing she could hate was the wars themselves that had concerned her husband and son. She had tried to hate all those pure bloods like her cousin and her sister who had turned their backs on their world; she had tried to be more like Bellatrix and Regulus and hated anyone that wasn't pureblood. She had tried to follow in their footsteps but had realized that she couldn't do that.

Her first mistake in her family's lives was probably the telling of her mother and father that Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor. Narcissa knew that she should have let Sirius tell them himself, but she couldn't help herself. That was just who she was, a stuck up selfish brat. She didn't hate her cousin Sirius, no matter how hard she had tried. She knew she had been too harsh on him and had willingly helped shun him from the family, but she didn't mean to, she was just doing what was best for her family and for herself. That was all she was ever good at, doing what was right for her family and others.

She was a selfish person and she hoped that Sirius and Andromeda didn't see that in her. She prayed that when they died they looked back over all the great things she had done, all the right things, not the things that she regretted herself. Narcissa was proud of herself for keeping up letters to her lost sister Andromeda and wished that that relationship could have grown into adult hood instead of stopping so suddenly once her sister had finished school. Unlike Bella, she didn't _hate_ Dromeda for her choice; she herself would probably have done the same if the love of her life was a muggle born. Actually Narcissa knew that she _would_ have run away if she loved someone that wasn't a pureblood. She knew that she had some of Andromeda in her, that they were alike in ways, but Narcissa saw that she could never be as noble and loving as her older sister. She was destined to be the one that was stuck inbetween her two sisters.

Her other sister was a different matter all together. Bellatrix had been nothing like her; they had stuck together through the wars and had been by each others sides – except for when Bella ended up in Azkaban. Narcissa knew that Bella didn't share her thoughts exactly; she wanted power over everything else, not caring about the welfare of her family where Narcissa wanted protection for her family and their wellbeing. Narcissa remembered looking up to her elder sister and praising her when she was little. She remembered how she had wanted to be just like Bellatrix. But she too had drifted away like the rest of the family, or so her sister told her. Narcissa knew that really it was Bella that had drifted away; she was the one that had become obsessed with power, a megalomaniac. Andromeda was the one that had found love and had settled down. Sirius was the one that fought on the other side and stood for what he believed in. Regulus well, Regulus was an entirely different matter to her.

She had been the only one to mourn his death. She was sure of it. Narcissa was sure that Andromeda wouldn't have even been told about their cousin's death because she was no longer in the family. And she knew what Bellatrix's reaction was, a cruel laugh and the words 'he probably deserved it'. She never really told Sirius about his brothers death but she knew he would have heard about it somehow and not even cared. She knew that Sirius would have mourned more greatly if it wasn't for the hate that got in the way of the two brothers. She smiled sadly at the thought of it being her fault. If it wasn't for her and Bellatrix the brothers would have still been brothers and never died like they did, they would have grown up and had children that carried on the Black line.

But no, she was the one that had the son to carry on not only her line, but her husbands as well – since her niece Nymphadora and her son Teddy were never acknowledged. She had done well, she decided and that she didn't really regret anything that she had done in her life, she just said she did to gain the trust of her family again.

And they welcomed her with open arms, even her sisters who she had not talked to since their deaths. She met her niece and her cousins, welcoming them and telling them she was sorry for everything she had done to them. They knew her too well though and told her it was fine because they knew that she didn't regret a single thing that had happened in her existence.

* * *

Not my best chapter. Oh well, hoped you liked it anyway.

Sorry it took so long to Update.

Reviews are always welcome.

_((A/N 2: Narcissa re-edit! She's hard to write, I don't like it._

_Well please Review!))_


	4. Sirius Black

**Behind Black Eyes**

_by Kashy_

**

* * *

**

**Sirius Orion Black.**

Sirius Black never thought of himself as a Black.

He wasn't like the others in his family, he wasn't a death eater and he wasn't a pureblood maniac. He was a traitor, a pureblood traitor that had been burned from the family tapestry and never spoken to again.

After his favourite cousin Andromeda had run away with the muggleborn Ted Tonks he had felt isolated from the rest of the family. He had actually tried to had his cousin for that; he didn't like being the only one in the family that was completely and utterly different. Andromeda was the only other one in their generation that didn't like the pureblood laws and rights that surrounded the family. Andromeda has been an idol for him when they were growing up, she was compassionate and just an overall good person, something he didn't see in the rest of his family, something that he still didn't see. He remembered being praised by her when he was sorted in Gryffindor. She hasn't scolded and shouted insults at him like the rest of his so called family had. And Sirius remembered the letter she had left for him before she had run away, leaving to marry Ted Tonks. He hadn't spoken to her after that and the only time he saw her was from a distance when he was too scared to go and say hello. He didn't like the fact that he hadn't spoken or seen his favourite cousin until he met the charming and lovely metamorphous Nymphadora after he escaped from Azkaban.

Through out his years in Azkaban he thought about his godson, he thought about Lily and James, about Remus and Peter. He thought about his family too. Thought the one person he didn't have to think about was Bellatrix. She had continued to taunt him from the dark and dreary cells of Azkaban, even if he couldn't see or hear it. Sirius always knew that she would taunt him and his traitor ways. Sirius had always hated Bellatrix, even when they were children there had been something that he had disliked about her. When she became a death eater he had laughed and said it was about time. He hated that he was a cousin of a Death Eater but he had been waiting for the day she joined that dark side.

His brother was another matter all together. He had been close to Regulus, they were brothers after all, and they had never been separated until Sirius went to Hogwarts. The first person Sirius told about being sorted into Gryffindor was Regulus because he was afraid to tell his parents. He remembered to kind letter back that he got, but he could tell that their was going to be a strain on their relationship from then on. They had both made an effort to stay close though, even when Regulus was put rightfully into Slytherin. But as the years went on they drifted further and further away and Sirius didn't bother to make an effort to become closer to him again. James Potter had become his brother, they were related distantly after all, and the Potter's had become his family after he ran away. He remembered Regulus began to start fights after that and joined Snape and his friends. Sirius felt some regret when it came to his brother because of the way he left and the way they treated each other in the teenage years. But Sirius had never thought that Bellatrix would convince his brother to become a Death Eater though, and as much as he disliked his brother's choices, he knew that he had to let his make his own decisions at some point.

Narcissa was the only other member of the family Sirius allowed himself to recall. He didn't like to recall his parents and Bellatrix wasn't brought up in his thoughts as much as his friends, Regulus and Andromeda. Narcissa had always been, and always would be a narcissist to him, always admiring herself and always doing what was right for herself and not for anybody else. He judged his cousin Narcissa too much and had never taken any great liking or interest in her. He saw that she was a combination of Bellatrix and Andromeda but with more beauty and grace. He had never really spoken to her after he went to Hogwarts because his cousin had avoided him like the plague and had Malfoy to stalk anyway. The only truly good thing he saw in Narcissa was the fact that she gave a male heir to carry on the Black line, even if it was only partially. Sirius had always seen that as a downside to his life, the fact that he had never had a little boy to continue the Black line. But then again, if he had done that then he would just be doing what his mother wanted. Plus there was the added fact that he liked to playboy lifestyle too much to give it up.

So when Sirius died leaving his godson Harry and his friend Remus Lupin behind he didn't meet any of his cousins because they were all alive. He had never expected his vengeful and most hated cousin Bellatrix to be the death of him. He met his brother and reconnected with him, but he spent most of his time with Lily and James Potter, who were more of a family to him then any other Black.

* * *

Well sorry it's taken so long to update Behind Black Eyes, but I've been busy and personally I was stuck with what to write for Sirius. He's harder then the rest. But I tried my best and I hope you enjoyed it.

Please Review.

Next Up: Regulus Black - the final Black.

_((A/N 2: Re-edit of Sirius Black! Much easier to write then before.))_


	5. Regulus Black

**Behind Black Eyes**

_by Kashy_

**

* * *

**

**Regulus Arcturus Black**

Regulus Black hated himself by the time he died.

He hated himself and what he became. He had in fact lost the courage and strength to go on with the life he had chosen, he wanted nothing more then to go back in time and realise his mistakes earlier so that he could live a better life.

He was pretty sure that Bellatrix would call him a coward. No, he was more then sure. Regulus was positive that Bella would hate him. But that had never really matter to him anyway; she had just been somebody that actually seemed to care about him. She had been great to him while he was a Death Eater; she was nice enough to him and encouraged him along. She was proud of him, his parents were proud of him, his aunt and uncles were proud of him. But he wasn't proud of himself. He had turned his back of their Lord and defied orders, something that he was sure his cousin would never be able to comprehend. They had shared a passion for the Dark Arts, but Regulus had to admit that he was never like Bellatrix in that way. Regulus had in fact, only sought attention from his family because no matter how much his parents hated to admit it, Sirius had always been the child to receive more attention, even if it was for being a trouble maker. He never though he would have to live with the consequences of dying young because of his stupid, reckless actions. It actually surprised him that Bellatrix hadn't killed him herself, but maybe dying by inferni was better then his hateful cousin that had a lust for power.

Lusting for power to him seemed to run in the family. Not only did Bella obviously lust for power, but his cousin Narcissa had as well. Regulus had always liked Narcissa; they had shared basically the same beliefs growing up. They had both wanted to marry good respectable purebloods and have families; they had both wanted the power of having a son that would be like royalty, because after all being a Black makes you as good as royalty. He remembered talking to Narcissa the most during school and never having spoken to Andromeda or Bellatrix - that was until he decided that he wanted to join the Death Eaters. If Sirius was close to his muggle loving cousins Andromeda - who in turn had become a traitor just like his brother - then he was close to Narcissa. There was something about the perfection in Narcissa's life that he wanted, a perfection he could never achieve.

Regulus tended to see Andromeda and Sirius as the same person in a way. They had both been deemed unworthy after incidents that included muggleborn and blood traitors and eventually both blasted off the family tapestry. He didn't know how Sirius could like Andromeda though, she was so selfless and happy, and nothing at all like a real Black should be. Andromeda had brought sunshine where ever she went and then she left leaving nothing but darkness behind. Regulus decided that was why he didn't like his second eldest cousins that much, because she had taken all the sunshine with her when she left with that muggleborn. He had nothing against the muggleborn that she married, he had no problem at all but the fact that she ran off with him. He only really disliked her because all the happiness seemed to drain from Sirius after she left, along with Narcissa and Bella. Plus, he blamed for putting ideas about rebellion into his brothers head.

His brother Sirius had been a piece of sunshine in the black world as well, until he was sorted into Gryffindor. Regulus can still not believe that Sirius was put into Gryffindor and then abandoned him to go and live with James Potter. He hated Sirius for that reason, he still loved his brother, and he would always love his brother. He hated the fact that his own brother claimed another person - James Potter - as his own brother. Regulus hated being replaced, especially for some muggle loving traitor. Maybe if he had been nicer and accepted Sirius' offers of freedom going through school he wouldn't be in this mess right now, he wouldn't be dying. Waves of regret always washed through him when he thought of all the lost time he had with Sirius, of all the times when they had fought against each other not with each other. But really he blamed their falling out entirely on his parents and on the Potters. His parents and cousins had caused that rift between them, continually putting ideas about Sirius being the worst kind of pureblood there was. And then there were the Potters, the people he envied. James Potter had taken his brother away from him - which made Regulus jealous - making him become a harsh person, just so he could see Sirius pay attention to him.

As Regulus died painfully, he didn't meet anybody at the gates of the afterlife. Nobody was there yet to see him in his death, he was the first of the generation and the youngest to die. So he waited and waited until somebody else joined him.

* * *

**A/N:** I know, shorter then the others. But i wanted to get this final chapter out before i begin a massive edit of these one-shots. I'm not too happy with how Sirius turned out last chapter and Regulus could use some re-doing.

Anyway, i'm on an uploading spree so i thought i'd add this to the list of my uploading today.

_((A/N 2: Regulus Re-edited finally! He's fun to write, so complicated and dark.))_


End file.
